Till I Die

Why Football Means Everything (even when it shouldn't)

Published by Oneworld Publications
Distributed by Simon & Schuster

About The Book

Inside the ecstasy, anguish and unshakeable loyalty that make football more than a game
'A book for anyone who has ever screamed at a television and wondered, briefly, why.' Adam Alter, author of Drunk Tank Pink

Dr Damien Pearse is a level-headed man. A psychologist, he spends his days encouraging patients to adopt a calmer, more grounded approach to life. And yet on match days all this unravels. He becomes anxious, panicked, sometimes belligerent, and if things go well for Wolves, manically ecstatic. And he is not alone – wander through any British town centre on a Saturday night and watch as the aftershocks of wins and losses spill out into the real world. Football means so much to so many.

Pearse meets with superfans, scientists, players and trolls, uncovering what drives our unwavering obsession with football. Examining ideas of identity, belonging, shame, modern masculinity and the most extreme acts of football fanaticism, Till I Die offers a poignant reappraisal of an enduring national pastime and passion.

'A thought-provoking, funny and ultimately heartbreaking book about how football fandom can evoke our most painful emotions' Dr Gwen Adshead, author of The Devil You Know

About The Author

Dr Damien Pearse is a chartered psychologist specialising in trauma. Before training as a psychologist, Damien was one of the Press Association’s youngest specialist reporters, working as their crime correspondent. During his time there he covered football hooliganism at the 1998 World Cup and 2000 Euro Championships. He then went on to work for the Guardian and Sky News. Despite living in Hastings, he is a lifelong Wolves supporter.

Product Details

  • Publisher: Oneworld Publications (September 3, 2026)
  • Length: 400 pages
  • ISBN13: 9781836432647

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Raves and Reviews

'A thought-provoking, funny and ultimately heartbreaking book about how football fandom can evoke our most painful emotions.' —Dr Gwen Adshead, The Sunday Times bestselling author of The Devil You Know

'Whether you're a football fan or a student of human behavior – or both – Damien Pearse is funny about his own obsession and serious about what it reveals. In Till I Die, he traces his quest to understand why we surrender to a game so stingy with its goals and so generous with its capacity to ruin a season, a year, a decade. A book for anyone who has ever screamed at a television and wondered, briefly, why.' —Adam Alter, New York Times bestselling author of Drunk Tank Pink

'A unique, sharply written and highly engaging exploration of why we love the game as we do. Pearse is a fine storyteller with an eye for compelling human stories and interesting characters, all of them united through this obsession of ours.’ —Daniel Gray, author of Saturday, 3pm

'Nothing matches the brutality and viciousness of tribal violence. If you want insight into how tribal psychology and conflict, from religions to politics to sport, can lead us to lose our humanity and compassion, this is a brilliantly observed map of the dark side of the mind. A must-read.' —Professor Paul Gilbert OBE, author of The Compassionate Mind

‘Funny and brutally honest, this is a wonderful globe-trotting journey of self-discovery and an exploration of the tribal psychology of football fandom… A book for all lovers of the beautiful game… Rich in anecdotes, humour and introspection, this is a story that transcends clubs, countries and cultures.' —Kieron Brady, former Sunderland player and mental health advocate

Have you ever worried that your partner loves football more than they love you? This book will help you understand why.’ —Harvey Whitehouse, author of Inheritance and Chair of Social Anthropology at the University of Oxford

'Much like a great game of football, this erudite, funny and well-informed book stays with you long after the final whistle. Part memoir, part social psychology, it shows how intense and deeply personal emotional experiences can somehow turn into mass psychosis. This book proves that our football terraces can be every bit as intellectually stimulating as our libraries… only with better chants and worse toilets.' —Dr Jon Stewart, author of Dylan, Lennon, Marx and God
 

'An insightful and sometimes disturbing examination of football passion. Damien has talked candidly with the tragic victims of the game’s excesses, as well as explaining its roots. A work of great depth, told by a man I first came across as a talented, if sometimes wayward, trainee reporter.' —Steve Gordos, former sports editor, Wolverhampton Express & Star

Absolutely brilliant.’ —Dan Tester, author of Brighton & Hove Albion On This Day

‘Really fun read... It's a question I've asked myself a lot. Why do we care so much? This book is very relatable, especially as Damien talks about his own emotions and feelings.’ —Harry Mansell, host of The Wolves 77 Club podcast

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