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Stand By Me

A Guide to Navigating Modern, Meaningful Caregiving

About The Book

“Warm, compassionate, and brimming with wisdom and expert advice” (Kate Washington, author of Already Toast), Stand By Me provides caregivers with new ways to juggle the responsibilities and emotional ups and downs of caregiving.

As the founder of the only devoted Caregivers Clinic in the country, clinical psychologist Dr. Allison Applebaum is no stranger to the intensity of being an unpaid, untrained family caregiver. She also understands that it is often the strength and well-being of these very caregivers—the parents, children, partners, siblings, and friends of patients—that are the true linchpin determining each patient’s illness experience.

Stand By Me puts the practical tools and transformative support of the Caregiver Clinic in your hands, empowering you to provide your loved one with the best quality of life and care possible, while promoting your own well-being. The book covers crucial topics including:
-Getting the most from any healthcare system
-Productive advance care planning
-Navigating changing roles and relationship dynamics
-Finding meaning and purpose in the caregiving experience

Stand By Me draws on more than a decade of clinical and research experience as well as Dr. Applebaum’s personal journey as the primary caregiver for her own father, legendary musician Stanley Applebaum, at the end of his life. Dr. Applebaum recognizes caregivers for who they truly are: invaluable healthcare team members. Offering critical insight and takeaways, Stand By Me is “a rich resource of invaluable information and expert advice for caregivers” (Dr. Kathleen M. Foley, Emeritus Professor of Neurology, Weill Cornell Medical College).

About The Author

Photograph by Tess Steinkolk

Allison J. Applebaum, PhD, is a clinical psychologist specializing in psycho-oncology, the field devoted to supporting the mental health of all individuals affected by cancer. She is an associate attending psychologist in the Department of Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center (MSK), and an associate professor of psychology in psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medicine in New York City. Dr. Applebaum is the founding director of the Caregivers Clinic at MSK. The Caregivers Clinic was the first of its kind and provides targeted psychosocial support to caregivers—family members and friends—of patients receiving cancer care at MSK.

Product Details

  • Publisher: S&S/Simon Element (February 27, 2024)
  • Length: 352 pages
  • ISBN13: 9781668005828

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Raves and Reviews

"Simple caregiver burnout strategies that will help you take care of yourself just as well as you take care of the people you hold most dear. " --First for Women

“Caregiving at its core is an act of love…In this book, [Dr. Allison Applebaum] shares her personal…dual experiences as the caregiver and as a clinical scientist focusing on the needs of the caregiver…Like her father, Applebaum has arranged a piece of work that is valuable for caregivers and those who support them.” –Laura Ellis, Library Journal

“[Stand By Me] offers advice on juggling the responsibilities and emotional struggles of caregiving…The book covers topics like navigating medical care, advance care planning and how to navigate ever-changing relationship dynamics.”Care.Com

Stand By Me is a rich resource of invaluable information and expert advice for caregivers written by a caregiver and expert psychologist. Like a master clinician, Dr. Applebaum supportively defines what are necessary skills for caregivers and how to learn them; emphasizes the critical need for self care for the caregiver; and describes what psychological supports are available to help caregivers find meaning in a role that is often frightening, lonely, and unwanted. It needs to be read by caregivers and all healthcare professionals as they struggle to make caregivers collaborators in the healthcare team. --Dr Kathleen M. Foley ,Emeritus Member, Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, Emeritus Professor of Neurology, Weill Cornell Medical College

"Stand By Me, first and foremost, is a book about the love between a daughter and father navigating the challenges of illness and loss. It contains deep wisdom and guidance, offering comfort to those entering into the realm of caregiver. With kindness, humanity, and the insights of someone who knows about being a family caregiver, personally and professionally, Dr. Applebaum shows us how we can stand by and care for the people in our lives who matter during their time of need." --Dr. Harvey Max Chochinov, Distinguished Professor of Psychiatry, author of Dignity in Care: The Human Side of Medicine

"Warm, compassionate, and brimming with wisdom and expert advice born of the author’s deep personal and professional experience, Dr. Allison Applebaum’s Stand By Me sets the new gold standard for caregiving guides. This book is an indispensable read for anyone whose life is touched by caregiving—which is everyone." —Kate Washington, author of Already Toast: Caregiving and Burnout in America

"Stand by Me is a powerful and insightful look into the realities of family caregiving in America. Dr. Applebaum blends her lived experience with deep professional expertise to offer a practical framework for navigating the challenges that shape caregiving, making the physical and emotional work of caregiving more sustainable." - Jason Resendez, President and CEO, the National Alliance for Caregiving

“This is a must-read for caregivers, in what is almost always a difficult, meaningful, or confusing time. Stand by Me is a perfect mix of caregiver memoir, love letter, how-to-guide, self-help and policy treatise on the U.S.’s approach to caregiving and workplace policies that facilitate care all wrapped into one. It will help caregivers feel less alone and more empowered in their own caregiving relationship, with the health system, and as an advocate for a different national approach to work, family, and care.” —Vicki Shabo, Senior Fellow, New America

"In combining powerful storytelling with practical tools and strategies, Dr. Applebaum has highlighted the issue of caregiver burden while providing us a sustainable way forward. Stand By Me is a treasure for caregivers, their care recipients and supporters, and all the rest of us who will someday need this book." —Jessica Zitter, MD, MPH, Founder, Reel Medicine Media

"Thoughtful, sensitive, highly practical, easy to read and based in personal and professional experience, Stand By Me is a book to be put to use by family carers and one that will also help them in their quest for meanings that can keep them going." —Arthur Kleinman, author of The Soul of Care

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