Skip to Main Content

How Not to Kill Yourself

Portrait of a Suicidal Mind

Published by Oneworld Publications
Distributed by Simon & Schuster

About The Book

'Illuminating, riveting, and – for those of us who are suffering, or know people who are – potentially life-savingly helpful.' Scott Stossel

The last time Clancy Martin tried to kill himself was in his basement with a dog leash. He didn’t write a note.

How Not to Kill Yourself is an affirmation of life by someone who has tried to end it multiple times. It’s about standing in your bathroom every morning, gearing yourself up to die. It’s about choosing to go on living anyway.

In an unflinching account of his darkest moments, Clancy Martin makes the case against suicide, drawing on the work of philosophers from Seneca to Jean Améry. Through critical inquiry and practical steps, we might yet answer our existential despair more freely – and with a little more creativity.

About The Author

Clancy Martin’s work has appeared in The New Yorker, The Atlantic, Harper’s, Esquire, Lapham’s Quarterly, The Paris Review and many other prominent publications. His books include the critically acclaimed How to Sell and Love and Lies.

Product Details

  • Publisher: Oneworld Publications (May 11, 2023)
  • Length: 368 pages
  • ISBN13: 9780861540631

Browse Related Books

Raves and Reviews

'A rock for people who’ve been troubled by suicidal ideation, or have someone in their lives who is, and want to understand the mentality, which can seem utterly mystifying to the unafflicted. Swirling with anguish and argument, tempered by practicality, it airs an often taboo topic with the authority of someone writing what he knows.'

– New York Times

‘[An] incredibly personal mix of memoir and literary criticism… this book also feels vitally important because it goes deeply into a conversation about mental health so few of us ever have… compelling.’

– Vulture

‘Insightful… One of Martin’s gifts is his ability to reenter, decades later, the precise minutiae of his thought patterns… What about the one reading along with him in the hope of an answer to this book’s title? He settles for a long and essayistic list of the things he does to get through the day, patched together with familiar tactics, obscure thinkers, and quotes from memory and e-mails with friends. It is idiosyncratic, beautiful.’

– The New Yorker

‘Zippy, compelling prose… I admire this book, admire what it wants to do and be.’

– Washington Post

'How Not to Kill Yourself is a remarkable book – self-flaying in its honesty, harrowing in its dark narrative turns, clear in its philosophising, and ultimately consoling in its message of hope. Treating sometimes dangerous material with care, Clancy Martin's book is illuminating, riveting, and – for those of us who are suffering, or know people who are – potentially life-savingly helpful.'

– Scott Stossel

'The most honest, complicit, searing, and discomfiting book I’ve ever read about suicide (and I’ve read quite a few—out of purely scholarly interest, of course). All great narratives pose a battle between the force of life and the force of death; How Not To Kill Yourself does this as brilliantly and powerfully as any book I have encountered in quite some time. Thrilling and useful.'

– David Shields, author of The Thing About Life Is That One Day You'll Be Dead

'In this unusually brave book, Clancy Martin dissects the anatomy of his own suicide attempts and, deploying other people’s stories and a wide range of literary sources, gives voice to the large questions that suicide raises: why some people want to live and others do not; why some fluctuate between the poles; why he is grateful to have survived his attempts but still hears the siren call of self-annihilation. He writes confidently, philosophically, dramatically, and with great clarity about a life that has been both wondrous and agonising.'

– Andrew Solomon, author of The Noonday Demon

'Suicide is impossibly difficult to understand but Clancy Martin gives first-person insight into why some choose to kill themselves; importantly, he also gives witness to the kind of hard work it takes for a suicidal person to opt for life.'

– Kay Redfield Jamison, author of An Unquiet Mind and Fires in the Dark

'Clancy Martin reminds us that the most existential questions around suicide—what drives a person to want to die and what has kept them alive—are not answered by the act itself but by people like him, who have long suffered and are authentically seeking what it means to go on living. He fearlessly and relentlessly asks these questions of himself and is thankfully here today to offer his many valuable lessons, both for those who are struggling with thoughts of suicide and those who work to help them.'

– Dr. John S. Draper, Former Project Director of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline network

'Clancy Martin has written an extraordinary, thoughtful book that combines his heartbreaking experience with clear-eyed suggestions. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything quite like it. Required—and, yes, somehow optimistic reading--for anyone interested in this enormous mental health problem.'

– D. T. Max, author of Every Love Story is a Ghost Story: The Life of David Foster Wallace

‘Martin is empathetic, but never coddling, in urging readers to consider their actions wisely, particularly the impact of their choices on others. Dark urges are understandable, but actions have consequences… In many ways, it is the biographical details in How Not to Kill Yourself that provide the strongest case for sticking around. Despite his determination to end it all, Martin’s life has been (and is) exceptional. From high school dropout to world renowned scholar, his story is one of passionate loves and enviable adventures. It is, ironically, a tremendous life worth living… Martin’s goal seems to be to cover as much ground as possible, so that the right insight finds the person who needs it most. If you are having urges that concern you, or you want to be better prepared should they arise, there is no better guide to thoughts of self-destruction from an insider who knows it all too well.’

– The Critic

'How Not to Kill Yourself is a riveting and inspiring read for anyone who has had to keep company with the chthonic feeling that the breath of life is a curse.'

– Los Angeles Review of Books

'A disturbing and transfixing dissection of suicide and its circumstances.'

– Kirkus Reviews

‘Transfixing... Funny but never flippant, Martin takes into account throughout the weight of his subject… This provocative dive into a difficult subject shouldn’t be missed.’

– Publishers Weekly

‘It’s not an easy read. But it’s an important one, especially, I imagine, for anyone with suicidal thoughts. It helped me understand societal reactions to suicide… Martin’s exploration of the role of suicide in culture, its evolution and how philosophers approached the subject was enlightening.’

– Dawn

'Compassionate throughout, How Not to Kill Yourself will be a source of support and consolation for many.’

– Irish Times

‘This brave book… I can't fully imagine what it must have taken for Martin to be able to write this book, spending hours remembering and working to describe some of the most difficult feelings and experiences a human being can have. Hearing one person’s story of their suicidality can give us courage to (re-)tell our own, and to hear more stories about suicide. I’m glad when people are in gentle, non-judgemental conversation about suicide because this can have a very positive effect on suicidal people; How Not to Kill Yourself is part of this conversation on suicide which I hope others will join.’

– Neurodiversity at Oxford

Resources and Downloads

High Resolution Images